1. Optimism. Not wishful thinking, but realistic optimism that starts with the good while staying realistic about the facts of the situation. Studies have been done on resilient people in the most dreadful situations - Vietnam prisoners of war, Special Forces instructors, and civilians who dealt with terrible experiences like medical problems, abuse, and trauma. The one common trait they all shared was a positive focus on the future.

2. Positive self-talk. When you talk to you, make sure you speak with respect. For many of us, if talked to others the way we talk to ourselves we’d have no friends and get daily black eyes. Give your inner critic a day off. You live with yourself 24/7, make sure you enjoy your own company.

3. Physical Fitness. It’s easier to be strong when you feel strong. Physical fitness leads to mental fitness and emotional calm. Push yourself a little, and you’ll be better able to push back at what life throws at you.

4. Label Your Feelings. Names give identity. Neuroscientists, hostage negotiators, and professional coaches all know about the power of labeling feelings. Giving a name to a negative feeling isolates it and reduces its power. Conversely, labeling a positive feeling allows you to access it more.

5. Make Games to Play. Sports teams, businesses, and the military know that the way to perform best with less stress is to turn any challenge into a game. Obstacles in life make us want to quit. Games make challenges fun and drive us to keep playing until we win.

6. Humor. Have you ever said, “Someday I’ll look back at this and laugh?”. Why wait? Research has shown that those using more humor to cope during difficult times, loss, and bereavement were better able to cope, feel happy, and had stronger immune systems. YouTube or Netflix a few comedies or comedians and watch at least once daily. 7. Give. You might think people who survive disasters do it by putting themselves first. The opposite is true. Research on those who get through life-threatening situations found that those who help others were more likely to survive. We are wired to be in the community. Helping others gives meaning to our lives.

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